Let's just take a minute to talk about asparagus. While some might think it feels like a flacid penis, it is basically a delicious side to any meal, or just a healthy snack! It is high in folic acid, among other things, and apparently helps relieve menstrual cramps. True story.
Here is a quick little recipe for a nice asparagus dipping sauce (I keep it in my cell phone because you never know):
1 tb Dijon mustard
4 tb red wine vinegar
1 tsp sugar
.5 tsp salt
.5 tsp pepper
.5 cup olive oil
Toss it all together, and whisk away. Steam the A for 5-10 minutes and it's ready for dippage. The sauce stores pretty well in the fridge for a couple days too, as long as you stir it up before serving it.